Freestyle Friday - Hey Girl

Valentine's Day is coming, and I was kinda surprised that in nearly eight years of (infrequent) blogging I've never touched the subject. Perhaps because I was single for part of the time? It seemed like such a LONG time at the time.

I was going to attempt to write about dating my husband ... But honestly I think a lot of bloggers are probably writing about that right now, and I'd be better off reading HOW to date your spouse (with two kids under four in a rural setting) than writing about it. My sneaky plan is to give him a list of questions to answer that I can add to my "knowledge of Tim" that will help me serve and love him better.

It wouldn't be very sneaky to talk about them here because he is my biggest fan! Hi honey!

I say "girl" so many times I thought a "hey girl" meme was just begging to go here

In looking back to see if I had written about V-day, I did find a post about the Joys of Singlehood. Since I don't want to be "that married girl with kids" who piles on to someone who is single (I have BEEN there) instead perhaps I can be a breath of fresh air and maybe a laugh or two for anyone as Cupid stocks his quiver.

We'll see if I would have told my past forcedly-happy-single-self to change a few things...

While I hope not to always be single ... Hey girl. You won't be. If you are in relationship with God and are serving Him and seeking Him first, and you have peace but a desire to be something other than single, chances are you won't be remaining single. I know you've heard it 1000 times but I'm here to say it is true - HIS TIMING IS PERFECT. I met Tim when I was 30! I made a lot of mistakes first!

Singing and Dancing ... If anything you are going to do more of it. Hey girl, you thought head banging and singing Metallica was bad? Wait till you and your husband sing a non-musical book to your daughter together because you have read it so. Many. Times. And when a sweet little three year old asks to dance, you're going to dance like you've never danced before.

My responsibility is pretty much to God ... as it should be, and will continue to be. He's the only one we answer to - hey girl, not even yourself. You will call on Him more than you knew was possible. Get ready to find out just how weak you are.

Ten years ago if you asked how I’d feel about not having kids at 30 and not planning on having any – I’d say that couldn’t possibly be me. But here I am – and ever so thankful for it. Don’t get me wrong – I love kids. And I honestly love the fact that this way I can impact more than 2 or 3. I can be the awesome aunt, or the cool (if not slightly weird) adult that isn’t someone’s parent, I have the freedom to be open to God touching so many more lives than if I were raising a family of my own. Sure … kids will keep you young … but nobody ever said they had to be my own. And frankly – not feeding anyone, being woken up 10 times every night, not putting them to bed, or arguing with them about their text messaging habits – rocks. God will take care of the nursing home issue I’m sure.

That one kinda makes me sad. I was trying really hard to be happy. Not being woken up in the middle of the night? I probably should have relished that (and sleeping in) a little more but it does not make up for kids. I would rather be woken up than not have my sweet girls. It has rarely been 10 times a night anyways, even with two. And you can still touch other kids lives once you have your own. Hey girl, having kids rocks too.

Without “family” (husband, kids, etc) I can go to God with [my time] and ask how He’d like to see it sliced. I still have to do it that way. And I find I'm a LOT more efficient with my time than I was in my single days. I wasn't exactly lazy then either. Hey girl, you should have written more. And read more. Time for those is harder to come by these days.

As a single woman – I get to be emotional almost anytime the mood hits me... Ha ha! Apparently I thought I was in control of my emotions. I'm still emotional, probably more so. I have so many more reasons to be emotional. So many more people who can hurt me, make me laugh, make my eyes fill 10 times a day with tears of joy. Hey girl, you are still on that uphill *click* *click* *click* part of the roller coaster.

I don’t have to talk to anyone before that first cup of coffee when I get up on the wrong side of the bed …  If you only knew ... Hey girl, your husband MAKES YOUR COFFEE. You had no idea! If you said to him "I'm so grouchy" he would say "What can I do?"

I get to eat when I feel like it... Well, yeah. Hey girl, that part was kinda nice.

The remote control. It is mine... Yeah, um. I mostly use the remote control to start my workouts (yeah, I do that more now than you ever did single-Amanda) and start Disney movies for the girls. You and Tim are like 3-4 seasons behind on the show you like to watch. It's TV. It isn't a big deal. If it is it probably won't continue to be. You will one day make a "date" of getting to sit down and watch a show. Hey girl, want to watch an episode of Downton Abby will make you as giddy as being asked to prom.

The air conditioner … I get to pick the temperature... Good for you I guess? Hey girl, the only time I worry about the heat and AC is when the filters need changed. It takes more than the temperature to get my back up these days.

A lot of these things … if I’m not compromising or settling … I’m not going to have to give them up even if/when my single status changes. Sure, I’ll have to be more considerate, and being in a relationship takes work … but that doesn’t mean I can’t do a little step-vault-change across the kitchen as I wipe down the countertop while singing Metallica to the sink, or that I have to stop sleeping with a nameless stuffed octopus under one arm.

Hey girl, you have no idea where that octopus is ... Your husband Tim is what you want under your arm these days. You still randomly grapevine and sing rock songs. You are still sadly obsessed with cleaning and have created two little OCD monsters. It's kinda cute how they always want their hands clean and how Shelby calls Victoria "the messy one." But yes, you didn't compromise and that is probably the best advice you gave.

Hey girls. Love God and be yourself.