Watching her sleep ...

Shelby doesn't nap.

Actually ... She does. In my lap. Nearly 11 months old and at about 11 and 3 every day I let her sleep in my lap.

Sometimes I feel like a failure for this ... shouldn't she be in her crib? Shouldn't she be putting herself to sleep and sleeping through the night and on a schedule? Alone? But it works for us. It might not always, but it does right now. It forces this mommy to sit and rest. And honestly the cleanliness of our home and homemade dinners have not suffered for it. Yet.

So almost every day I sit and watch the rise and fall of her chest as she breathes. I watch her once-tiny fingers curl as she dreams. In fact, this is when I clip the fast-growing nails she got from her momma. It's much less traumatic this way for both of us.

I wonder at the soft curls of spun honey by her ears and notice that new fuzz seems to appear before my eyes as her hair thickens. I wonder if she'll go to prom and how she will wear it and I pray over those teenage years.

Her mouth puckers and then breaks into a smile as she laughs in her sleep and I wonder what her dreams will be. I say a prayer over those too and beg for God to guide them.

Sometimes I write grocery lists and to-do lists, or even watch a little Netflix and catch up on a book.

I have come to find myself looking forward to this time...

I have tried putting her down to nap, but it never has worked out. I've read bits and pieces of sleep books ... but in the end, our family is well rested and happy. The only reason, at this time, I can think of to try to force a change is others' opinions ... and I think that's a pretty poor reason.

My advice on sleep? Do what works for you and your family, whatever that may be.

Now back to my bonbons ... cause don't you know that's what I do ... Sit around with her in my lap eating bonbons. (If anyone figures out what those are, tell me ... and are they any good?).


  1. Enjoy it while you can! You won't have that luxury should there be a baby #2, and I have a hunch you'll never regret the hours you spent cuddling your first baby. <3


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