Sunday, March 7, 2010
I've moved ... and I left a lot of things I didn't want to. I know I could easily mope and be miserable, but that isn't healthy, that isn't "me," and I know for certain that isn't the life God has called me to.
I won't go so far as to say that everything is "hunky dory" ... it is certainly not easy. But at some point in life I finally learned, really learned, that your attitude has a lot to do with your perception of almost everything.
So, instead of noticing what I'm missing - I try to focus on the positive things around me. Because something else I learned is that where I am doesn't define me ... no matter where I go, no matter what adventures (or misadventures) I get myself into - I will always be a child of a loving God, and He has a purpose for me, and can use anything I go through for His glory.
I notice the little things like miniature donkies, llamas, Shetland ponies, and horses along the roads between my apartment and work. I praise God for the less "big city" feeling of the town I chose to live in, and yet that anything I could need is very close (I don't even have to go into Plano if I don't want to!). I bought some plants for the windows I'm blessed to have at work, rather than focusing on the fact that the coworkers I came to love in Austin aren't here.
Instead of feeling sorry for myself, I'm trying to be productive and take advantage of this time. Because if I really get what I want in life, it'll be a LONG long time before I have so much "me" time again, so I might as well appreciate it even though I don't think I want it. I'm getting back in the habit of working out. I'm committing to writing more. In fact, I've signed up for a children's literature class. I can finally learn about some of the things, like approaching publishers, that have stopped me from fully chasing/realizing that dream. And of course, there WILL be roadtrips. Austin is still just a few hours away. Not to mention taking advantage of the fact that my parents are significantly closer while I live here.
And honestly - the BEST things in life don't change. I am still miraculously and wonderfully made and redeemed by a savior and God who loves me more than I can begin to understand. My friends and family still love me. And my relationship with my wonderful, patient, kind, loving boyfriend can only grow stronger while we're apart.
Tears still well up spontaneously in my eyes from time to time, so I try find something to be thankful for and something I can do (like unpacking - I think I must have set some kind of record for getting unpacked and decorated) that I may not have as much time to do someday. And I remember that this time will teach me to appreciate things like time with those I love and the quiet and chaos of life even more than I already do.