Unbelievably shallow

All week, I've been hearing about the movie "Tropic Thunder." Well, basically all I knew at first is that it is an R-rated comedy by Ben Stiller. Frankly - that's enough to stop me from having any desire to see it. Granted, Ben Stiller has some funny movies - while I wouldn't say I "like" Zoolander - I have to admit it made me laugh. Night at the Museum was terrific! But the last Stiller "comedy" I saw - Heartbreak Kid - had no redeeming qualities. It wasn't funny at all - it just made me and the people I saw it with uncomfortable.

This week, what I've been hearing is protest from groups such as Friends of the Special Olympics for the movie's use of the word retard. Frankly - I'll admit that we called each other that plenty of times and meant nothing in relation to people who truly had special needs. And while I understand these groups asking people not to go see the movie - it is, in fact, a movie. When I have a problem with a movie, I don't go see it, but I don't necessarily try to prevent others from seeing it.

And to be quite honest - I have a problem with some of the words that have been in the news lately as being "offensive." Why is it that we cry out when a word indicating race or intelligence is used in movies, yet words demeaning women are used in most movies, and no one finds any fault in it? Perhaps it is because I'm more personally offended by such words that they get my dander up. But again, this is the United States of America. If someone wants to make or watch a movie full of such derogatory statements, no one is making me go watch it. I guess it is just the fact that it is supposed to be "funny" that really irks me.

To do a little more research, I looked up Tropic Thunder on a Christian website that reviews movies. It really sounds no worse than most of the other recent comedies, and in fact they applaud the fact that it makes fun of Hollywood. So I suppose I'll save my verdict on if I'll ever see this one until someone I know sees it. I'm guessing the fact that I haven't even seen Batman yet - which I want to see - means the likelihood of my ever watching this one pretty low.

While I'm ranting, I have to give my two cents about eHarmony. Some of you probably know I've been on there for a while now. I've been on a few dates, had a good time, but nothing came of it. Which is perfectly fine! However, I am feeling rather done with the whole online dating thing. About half of the people they match me with aren't really members of eHarmony, therefore cannot communicate. Of those left, about half close the match because they are already pursuing another relationship. Why on earth they have an active eHarmony account in that case I do not know - you can easily turn the matching off if you meet someone.

Which leaves the few whose profiles I bother to read. A lot of them seem fed up with the female of our species altogether and are rather self deprecating - not someone ready for a relationship at all. Some of them list "a woman to love" or "the one" as something they can't live without - so I'm afraid they are a little too desperate for the relationship and that who it is with may not be important until they realize it is the wrong one.

The few left with a little confidence, well, I'm not sure how I "match them on 29 levels of compatibility." As well intentioned as the creator of the site may have been, I'm starting to think that his books and the eHarmony system may be a big sell. Of those left, they are either looking for a woman to serve with them, willing to drop everything. Noble intentions - but from my standpoint - I'm almost 30 and I've worked very hard to be where I am. I'm definitely not starting a relationship knowing that if we get married, this guy is going to expect me to just drop it all. If I end up in a relationship and God indicates that's what I'm to do, that is a different story.

And that leaves the incredibly shallow guys. They either say they are Christian, but then nothing in their profile indicates that (especially the fact that some of them mention physical affection being necessary to them - maybe I'm reading too much into that, but that seems inappropriate). Some of them go on and on about serving God, etc ... but in the section that asks what is important to them in another person - well. I don't want to take a direct quote, but I think I saw the shallowest one today.

He said the most important thing he is looking for in woman is that she is attractive. And that he prefers girls (GIRLS, ha) taller than himself (he's 6'). He even mentions this again in his "additional information he wants you to know" section - that he loves girls of "above average height and beauty." He likes for a girl who can get dressed up in heels but who also loves her favorite blue-jeans. Gag me with a fork.

If that one didn't set off all the alarms and red lights and flags ... then my knower is broken.

On a happier note, since my decision to let my eHarmony account expire, I feel a certain freedom. See, I kept saying I was leaving all this dating stuff up to God. Then one morning, in a voice - but not in a voice (if you know what I mean?) God basically said that I say I'm letting go - but that I'm still not trusting Him. And He is so very right. God can work around the fact that I don't meet a lot of date-able single men. And He doesn't need a website to do it.

There's a certain freedom in truly letting go and leaving the really important things up to God. And I know He'll do a better job than I could ever imagine doing.


  1. Hi Amanda,

    Jim told me about your site. So i wanted to stop by and introduce myself. I really enjoyed reading some of your posts. You keep things interesting with your writing!

    I liked what you had to say in this one about trusting God with the dating thing. I don't know how many times i have ran with the ball in my hands when all the while i should of passed the ball to God. I am still reminded from time to time that i must let go and let God for most things in my life. But i will confess that can be real tough for me to do.

    God is nevertheless so patient and longsuffering. I would of been sick of me by now! LOL! It is a good thing that He is God and i am not! God bless you Amanda!


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