Wednesday, October 19, 2016

A Day in the Life - Some people call it a fork.

Attempting to civilize children is an uphill battle.

I have a spoon but I'm going to eat my rice with my hands. One piece at a time.
I know we have to give them silverware to use or they'll never learn to use it. I know chimpanzees use tools ... but frankly with the invention of plates I don't think humans would ever get around to that. Lets face it ... the chimps are using sticks to dig termites out of a log.

And sometimes I just give them finger foods because it is easier.
Quite frankly, I'm not trying to get my girls to eat their macaroni and cheese with a fork so they can dig it out of a log. I can really only think of two reasons:

1. So they can behave in a civilized manner consistent with the society they've been born into. So they won't go on a date to an Italian restaurant and start chowing down Lady and the Tramp style.

2. Because some food is greasy and messy and if they eat it with their hands the evidence is everywhere. Everywhere. Even if I send them to wash their hands immediately after gorging themselves on slippery chicken, there will be fingerprints on the table, the chairs, possibly the walls in the hall, the door frame, the door knob, the light switch, the stool, and the faucet. IF they go straight to the bathroom.

Do I have to eat this? Do I have to use a spoon?
What do my children do? Rather than running away with the dish the spoon sweeps a napkin about herself and marries the fork. Or tucks a baby fork into bed under a nice warm quilt(ed paper towel).

Recently I reminded Shelby in my worn-out, running out of patience nagging mommy voice to use a utensil to eat her macaroni and cheese.

She looked right at me and said, as if speaking to a child younger than herself:

"Some people call it a fork."

"Duh Mom"

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