Friday, May 6, 2016

Freestyle Friday - You Never Really Let Go

A few weeks ago we got the "Mother's Day" version of the James Avery catalog. Tim couldn't figure out the picture on the front cover, and I pointed out that it was probably a mom and daughter, as one had was definitely more aged than the other.

Tim's comment was along the lines of "who holds hands with their mom like that?"

As I thought about it, I decided it was a beautiful illustration of the relationship between a mom and her adult daughter. Because while as moms there comes a day we have to let go of our little arrows and let them fly ...

But you never really let go of mom's hand. Your fingers may no longer be the tiny fingers that grasped so tightly around hers as if to say "Never go anywhere Mommy!" And you may not literally be holding hands. But I think those interlocked pinkies really speak, at least to my limited experience.


Our two daughters both love their Daddy very much. But sometimes there's just no one but Mommy that will do. I know, I KNOW rough times are ahead. Once upon a time I was 15 too.

But even then, as much as I fought against my mom and thought she didn't understand me, when I really needed to cry, scream, pray ... who was there? Sometimes uninvited, but deep down truly needed.

Then you grow up, you move out, you get married. The Bible says to leave and cleave, and you do. But sometimes you just need mom. You need your husband too, but you need to talk to mom.

When your own babies are born, of course you want your husband there ... but you also want your mom. When Shelby was born I remember them telling me my mom wanted to see me and was it ok for her to come back? Was there ever any question? I'm about to raise a tiny human! Help!

Some of my "boy mom" friends and I were talking recently and coming to the realization that those of us with girls of course have those teenage years to dread. The boys will eat everything, but life probably won't be nearly as complicated and dramatic as it will be with the girls some of us are raising.

Then they grow up, and by the grace of God you become friends again. Oh I pray we will be friends some day. Because I know I can be their alli but not their friend during the next several years.

When boys become men and marry women, now you have the complicated relationship with a daughter in law. For some reason it seems much easier to be friends with a son in law than a daughter in law. Of course there are exceptions, but most husbands aren't threatened by their wife's relationship with her mother.

As a daughter I know I never really completely let go of mom's hand. By choice. Perhaps even take it back after pushing it away. As a mother I know my hand will always be open to take those little hands I marveled at in the hospital, no matter how big they get.

So happy Mother's Day ... It's ok to still hold on to Mommy's hand once in a while. The link may be tenuous at best, like barely crossed pinky fingers, but chances are if she is still on this Earth, she wouldn't hesitate.

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