I can't do that if I let something come between Him and me. Like anger. Or frustration. My focus is so fickle. And as a mom, when my light goes out it can easily take two little lights with it.
This morning I was packing up a picnic lunch for after story time at the library. I had a to do list and I was doing it. Suddenly I got that "too quiet" feeling any parent dreads.
|The ENTIRE contents of Victoria's chest of drawers|
My focus swung from God to the fact that it was 10:05 and we needed to be in the car and ready to roll by 10:15 to make it. My to do list, on which I had been making great progress, suddenly stretched long against one of the busiest days of the week. The light surely dimmed.
What I wish had happened next is that I had gotten down on my knees and said in a soft, kind voice that mommy was upset that they had done this and lets pray together because mommy needs to cool down. You can see from sweet sensitive Shelby's posture that wasn't what happened right away. And another precious light dimmed.
Sometimes I have to polish up with tears in order to get back to reflecting God's light. Sometimes I need someone else to reflect His light into my own dark places.
Depending on which version you read, John 1:5 says:
The light shines in the darkness, and the darkness can not/has not overcome/extinguished/comprehended it.
I want to bring light to darkness, and God's Word says the darkness cannot overcome the light. It is a moment by moment choice I make to let God's light shine. In my home, and in the world.
Waxing poetic about how dark sin is ... how abortion wrecks lives and slaughters innocence, how modern slavery grasps at so many around us but we largely ignore it ... doesn't brighten the darkness. It is the clanging of a gong without love. Love is the way we bring light.
If I speak in the tongues of men or of angels, but do not have love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal. - 1 Corinthians 13:1
Bringing God's light is the only way to expose and defeat the darkness. While there are many ways I feel like God has called me to bring light, one of them is becoming a Noonday Ambassador. I was still considering this a few weeks ago but now I have embraced that torch.
The name Noonday comes from Isaiah 58:10:
if you spend yourselves in behalf of the hungry and satisfy the needs of the oppressed, then your light will rise in the darkness, and your night will become like the noonday.
This is a way for me to show others, show the world, that I care. And I get to play with beautiful jewelry and get out of the house and be social. Until I went to Austin Christian Fellowship I thought you weren't serving unless you were completely uncomfortable and ... well, miserable. But I now believe God gives us different passions and abilities. And He wants us to use them and part of our joy is that we enjoy using them!
Noonday was founded by Jessica Honegger when she sold paper bead jewelry from two artisans in Uganda to her friends in Austin to help bring Jack, their adopted son, home from Rwanda. In five short years it has grown. Y'all - they are doing things right.
October is Fair Trade Month and Noonday practices fair trade. Another purpose of Noonday in addition to supporting adoptions is to help the artisans making these beautiful pieces rise up out of poverty against oft impossible odds. Responsibly. Sustainably.
Light. God's light. I am here to bring God's light into the world in whatever ways He chooses to use me. I'm not always the best reflector - I let life eclipse what He wants to do through me. I pray every day He will polish these bumps and dings to refract His light all the more and show other's His beauty.
Have you ever been outside during the full moon away from the city lights? Our barndominium is out in here in the country. It is astoundingly dark when the moon is dark. But you might as well have a security light up when that moon is full. My ability to reflect God waxes and wanes depending on how much of me is turned toward Him. I don't want to shift like the moon. My face longs to be fully turned to Him in all circumstances - even when there four seasons of two sizes of clothing all over the floor and places to be.