Saturday, July 13, 2013

Poop!

This mid-morning was much like any other ... I was wrapping up washing the dishes that need the tender touch of hand washing in mild soap. In fact, I was getting ready to tackle the last item ... my cast iron skillet had been soaking overnight to soften the very stuck pieces of dinner. I was lamenting the fact that this cleaning would likely remove some of the pan's precious seasoning ...

Then I smelled it. Poop! Right on time! After several days of stools loose and frequent enough that Tim and I agreed Pedialyte was in order, Shelby appears to be back on her "regular" schedule.

I turned to ask if she needed a new diaper, and there, next to the pan she was happily drumming on, standing out mustard yellow as all else faded to sepia like a filtered photo ... Poop! A streak of it on the kitchen floor. The kitchen floor! *shudder*

I scooped her up, noting as I walked that we indeed had our first Thirsties blowout (not due to user error) at the gusset around one leg. "Maybe it was how she was sitting?" I pondered, "Or the fact that at 18 pounds she's precisely on the line between size 1 and size 2 covers?"

Attempting to hold her still as she complained on the changing table I prepped three wipes ... usually I can wrangle a poopie bottom with two, but it WAS a blowout. I was underprepared for what was hidden by the thin layer of pink PUL...

I don't know who coined the term "Holy" crap but they obviously didn't have a toddler. It had only been 24 hours since her last poo, which had resembled her previous meal of sweet potatoes. The meals between simply could not explain the contents of her diaper. Grape skins??? It had been at least three days since she had grapes? Other meals had come and gone since grapes?

I sprayed and wiped as quickly as I could ... I'd been planning on a bath this evening but now was good! Despite my efforts she managed to get at least one hand dirty. My mind began tallying a list of "contaminated" things: baby, kitchen floor, changing table/pad/cover ...

I set her on the potty, hoping anything else that needed released would come out now before her bath. She sat for only a moment then took off ... unencumbered by clothing she's much faster. Deciding a few minutes of "naked baby" might be good for her, I gently picked up both diaper and liner between two fingers and went to spray them off.

Pride is an ugly thing. I have prided myself in my ability to use the diaper sprayer without it becoming what "Parenting: Illustrated with Crappy Pictures" refers to as a "poop laser." I don't know if I was rushing or if it was a result of the consistency and sheer quantity of this particular diaper ... but poop laser happened and my list of contaminated surfaces grew: scale, toilet, bathroom rug, bathroom floor, side of tub...

Once the diaper was as good as it was going to get, I decided I had a limited window of opportunity. The bathroom door was firmly closed and the naked toddler was not trying to break in. Better to clean now than try to take the diaper and return for cleaning. Desperate and not wanting further contamination, I flushed the toilet and dropped the offensive diaper and cover into the bowl (hey, that's how they rinsed them before diaper sprayers!). I folded up the mat to take to the wash and set about using up too many Clorox wipes; better safe than sorry.

A noise in the hallway tells me my time is up. As if to confirm this thought, I hear Shelby fall and begin to cry ... a stumble is just too much when you have just realized you've been locked out of the very room mommy is in.

Opening the door, I'm greeted with further "contamination"  ... She fell because her little feet slipped in the puddle of her own making spreading across the hardwood. *sigh*

I scooped her up with the hand that wasn't holding a very wet and very contaminated diaper on the verge of dripping and flew to the diaper pail. Re-decontaminated toddler with yet more wipes. On the return trip I soaked up the mess with a former spit up cloth and yanked two Clorox wipes out of the container ... one for the mess in the hall, one for the mess in the kitchen.

Finally ahead of the contamination, Shelby had a lovely bath and I started a load of laundry, surprisingly none of which had poop on it. Today is going to be a "no-pants" kind of day I think.




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