I came home today to an unusual number of emails. Brow furrowed, wondering if I had invited some kind of spam and would find offers of hair growth, weight loss, male enhancement, and urgent messages that I needed to enter my password for eBay, Paypal, Amazon ... and by the way the prince of somewhere wants to give you money for nothing ...
Not even close. What I found were over 100 comments on my most recent blog about losing Lil Bit and the summer fires raging in places dear to me. Thank you. Apparently I was Love Bombed - I'd never heard of it! What a wonderful outreach! And they weren't just shallow comments either - people (maybe you?) read the parts of my heart I had poured out "on the page" so to speak.
The timing was amazing. At work this week, a coworker made a silly comment to me about "when my baby comes" ... somehow the news that I had lost the baby had missed this individual. It wasn't intentional, but it still hurt and took me by surprise. Tomorrow we are having a baby shower for another coworker - this will be my first baby shower. But in His way, God has lifted me up and held me close and I will be ok.
So many commented on my strength - and I'm compelled to tell everyone - it isn't me! Philippians 4:13 says I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me. That includes this. In fact, during the month I've been silent ... I've started doing "Couch to 5K" ... and at a friend's suggestion got a Road ID, and along with my name and age, my husband's and families' contact info, I have that verse. Lord knows I can't become a runner without his help! In a week and a half ... I'll have "earned" the new shoes I promised myself! As much as I liked Cross Fit ... I quit doing it when I found out I was pregnant. I wanted to start an exercise that I could continue or easily alter for pregnancy - if running is too much, I still have the time (and equipment) carved out to turn it into walking later.
I healed quickly from the D&C, and had a relatively "normal" cycle following. During my prenatal testing, it was found I am no longer immune to rubella ... so this second cycle (which seems to be going swimmingly) we are avoiding and I had my MMR booster. Not so fun - and the chances of contracting rubella are slim ... for the average American. Given Tim's contact with not only the public, but the often-ill public in both the pre-hospital and hospital settings ... well, it was a good idea. It really does sting though - squeeze your kiddos extra tight while they're administering that one.
Unfortunately - our blow wasn't a "love blow." It was a blown head gasket. Even in that, there is so much to be thankful for. Tim was driving to his second job ... on IH-35 ... in morning rush hour traffic ... when Green Bean (as I've named his car) stalled. Praise God, he got it started again and was able to exit and even find a good place to come to a rest. A final rest. As in, it is looking like rest in piece(s) Green Bean. Blown head gasket, frost plug needs replaced, throttle body work, new spark plugs/wiring harness, and so on ... adds up to almost three times what the car is worth.
Even being a one-car couple while we save up for a replacement for the Escort comes with blessings. When we drive together, we get to spend that extra time together that we often don't get (like tonight, when I'm at home sitting in my running clothes writing a blog while Tim is 30 minutes into a 12 hour shift). And thanks to a split in the side of one of my tires mere days after the Escort bit the dust - we have two new tires on the Civic (only one of which we had to pay for thanks to Discount Tire's warranty).
I wouldn't share these trials with anyone else. The past couple of months has tested us as a newlywed couple, and we are coming out closer than ever - to one another and God. Tim is my best friend, and I just know God has things for us to do together if we're facing this many trials. I used to always say in video games ... if bad guys keep coming, you must be going the right way.
Thank you for reading, praying, and crying with us. It brings me immeasurable pleasure to know God has used my ramblings to speak to someone.